To honor my grandfather, Kenneth LeRoy Frye Sr., and to more thoroughly document his life in one place, I present the following:
“Something You Thought You Were So Right About”
May 26, 1995 in Murray, Utah:
Granddaughter: “…I was just gonna ask Grandpa, do you have any opinions today that are the total opposite of what you had 40 years ago? Something you thought you were so right about, and you were never gonna change ...and all of a sudden...”
Grandpa: “Well yes, I swore I'd never join the LDS church, for instance.”
Now that is quite a response coming from a man who held very strong negative sentiments and opinions for decades toward The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (“LDS” or “Mormon”) as an institution, primarily because of past polygamy. In his own words:
“…I resisted the church very vigorously....”
“…I was violently opposed to [the LDS church].”
The dialogue and comments were taken from interviews of Kenneth LeRoy Frye Sr., or “Grandpa” or “Kenneth,” by his children and grandchildren recorded on audio cassette tapes. By 1995, Kenneth was 82 years old and recounting earlier times, having already lived a life replete with diverse experiences worth documenting and passing down to future generations.
But what changed for Kenneth? Why would he do an about-face, and embrace something he previously opposed “vigorously” or “violently?”
“I’m Gonna Join the Navy”
Around 1926, an ex-Navy man and his wife opened up a local bakery shop in the small town of Seneca, Missouri. Then 14-year-old Kenneth LeRoy Frye was hired nearly immediately to help clean and make bread, pastries, pies, cakes, and donuts. He really admired the man for whom he worked and was told many stories and experiences of his 20 years or so in the Navy. This created a great deal of interest and a desire for Kenneth to join the Navy, but he would need to wait another three years until he was at least 17.
Within months of working, Kenneth moved in with the family who lived right above the bakery. The business was a successful endeavor and also had little competition. But the couple who owned the bakery moved away seemingly abruptly, and Kenneth ended up taking charge of the bakery at age 15. He later learned the reason for the owners’ move, and it really hurt him since he considered them second parents. Evidently, the wife had been “playing footsie with several of the town Romeos.” In other words, she was unfaithful to her husband and marital vows. Kenneth grew up in a devout Methodist household, and unfaithfulness to one’s spouse was a serious offense.
Kenneth continued working at the bakery until the age of 16. He also had a stint working on a farm doing manual labor, pitching wheat or hay and throwing it into a wagon. While working hard on the farm one day, Kenneth became very tired, exhausted and was dripping with sweat. He couldn’t take it anymore. He then exclaimed to a friend working with him at the time, “The hell with this. I’m gonna join the Navy!” His friend looked at him for a minute, then threw down his own pitchfork, and replied, “So am I!”
“First Great Sorrow”
The stories of the ex-Navy man--his adventures and experiences--excited Kenneth enough that he decided he was smart enough to quit school and join the Navy. The problem was Kenneth was only 16 years old, one year shy of the minimum age requirement. But he applied to join the Navy anyway. He lied about his birth year as 1911 instead of 1912, and somehow got his mother to sign the paperwork attesting to his fabricated age making it appear as if he was 17. With age no longer an issue, he was accepted into the Navy in 1928 and set his sights on becoming a pilot, a long-held dream. Kenneth received basic training at the Naval Training Station at Great Lakes, Illinois. He was then transferred to San Diego, California where he completed a pilot course and other training. He loved every minute of it.
Kenneth was recommended for Aviation Pilot School, but eventually dropped from pilot training because his eyesight didn’t meet the standard needed for pilots. Kenneth felt crushed and mortified, his dream shattered in an instant. It was almost as if his existence had ended. It was the first great sorrow in his life and required a long time to recover from the disappointment. He left the Navy after a four-year enlistment and returned home to Seneca, Missouri. After two months of trying to get back into the bakery business, he decided to re-enlist in the Navy since he thought it would provide more opportunity and greater financial security. In September 1932, he was assigned to Pensacola, Florida. Instead of pilot training, he worked in aircraft operations and maintenance, somewhat gratifying as it still involved airplanes and transport flying to an extent.
“Second Great Sorrow”
While in Pensacola, Florida, Kenneth met a girl named Dannie and was married in January 1934. He loved her greatly. They lived with Dannie’s mother and brother in Pensacola until January 1935, when Kenneth was transferred to California for a new assignment aboard the USS Maryland, a battleship. Dannie remained behind in Florida while Kenneth was stationed at San Pedro, California.
Near the end of 1936, however, Kenneth discovered his wife was not the person he thought she was. She got involved in things he could not believe. Dannie was unfaithful to him and her marital vows and had already started an annulment of their marriage. After nearly three years of marriage and being physically apart due to the Navy transfer, the divorce was finalized on December 11, 1936. Dannie was also married that same day to another man. Just a day earlier, December 10, Kenneth was transferred to the fleet air base at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, his last day as a married man.
The attorney working with Kenneth stated in a letter after the divorce, “My advice would be to forget the unpleasantness of the past and find someone perhaps more worthy of your affections in the future.”
Kenneth later lamented: “I couldn't quite cope with the idea [Dannie] had been untrue to me, and I knew if I stayed in the Navy, this is a true test of a person's ability to maintain the marriage vows.” The betrayal and divorce were his second great sorrow in life to that point. It would take him some years to recover emotionally.
“A Big Break”
By September 1939, Kenneth had been transferred to Anacostia Naval Air Station in Washington D.C. That brought an opportunity to meet Elizabeth Annie West at a dance. Elizabeth usually didn’t like to attend dances, but her sister, Blanche, persisted, and they went together. Kenneth and Elizabeth both danced that night then dated for a time. Kenneth cut off the relationship when the topic of marriage came up and Elizabeth shared her intention of raising children in her “Mormon” faith, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Kenneth wouldn’t have it--being a Methodist--he couldn’t swallow some of the beliefs and practices of Elizabeth’s church. He had previously ended a relationship with another woman for the same reason, wanting to raise her children in the Catholic faith.
Kenneth still had a strong desire to
get married and have children. He felt “old and desperate” being nearly 28
years old. Some time passed, and he reached out to Elizabeth again. They again discussed
marriage and compromised that the children would make their own choice regarding
church or religion when they were old enough. Agreeing on this matter, and after
somewhat “businesslike” dating, the two were married on November 2, 1940 in
Washington D.C.
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| Kenneth and Elizabeth Frye November 2, 1940 |
After World War II broke out and the U.S. entered the war in the 1940s, Kenneth recognized his poor eyesight and vision had given him “a big break.” He learned the unfortunate truth that most, if not all of his companions in his basic pilot training group, had been killed in the war except for one who was dropped from pilot training for poor eyesight as well.
Had Kenneth’s eyesight been good enough, he likely would have suffered the same fate as his colleagues and been killed as a Navy pilot. Kenneth credits his poor eyesight and vision for extending his life. It is also likely he would have never met and married Elizabeth Annie West. She ended up being someone worthy of Kenneth’s affections and became a profound influence in his life.
“Mormons Did a Lotta Crazy Things”
While living in Washington D.C. and thereabouts, Kenneth and Elizabeth had five children. Kenneth regularly attended the Methodist Church, where he taught Sunday School. Most of the time, Elizabeth and the children would accompany him. On several occasions, however, the family attended Elizabeth’s church--The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints--and something caught Kenneth’s attention. When he took his children to Primary, singing time and gospel classes for kids, he could not believe his eyes. He said:
“Here were 35 or maybe 40 youngsters that were actually sitting down, respectful and seemed to be intelligent, well-behaved children. And at the time, I thought, ‘Well, I know these Mormons did a lotta crazy things, but I didn't know they drugged their children...’”
Joking aside, he was so impressed with their behavior he could not fathom how it could be otherwise. Over the next few years, he observed the conduct of the children and adults involved in the Primary. He was also impressed by the good examples of the church members and developed a budding interest in the church’s “philosophies” even though he still doubted many aspects of the church.
Kenneth started taking gospel lessons at home from the Latter-day Saint missionaries but was a “hard nut to crack.” Two different pairs of missionaries had already given up and stopped visiting him. He felt they couldn’t answer his questions adequately. When a third set of missionaries visited him, he was more impressed as they could consistently answer his questions with the scriptures. Kenneth was still far from wanting to join Elizabeth’s church, and by mid-1952, the family was transferred by the Navy to Alameda, California.
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| Frye Family, 1950 Back Row (left to right): Kenneth Sr., Kenneth Jr., and Elizabeth Front Row (left to right): Cheryl, Ronald, and Michael *Daughter Linda not born yet |
“Crazy Enough to Take It”
In Alameda, the family lived for a short time in naval housing. Kenneth and Elizabeth attended a weekly Latter-day Saint evening activity called “Mutual.” Kenneth made several friends and had lots of fun. He attended for about one month, and it is not entirely certain whether the local congregation mistook him as a member. The group was looking for a volunteer to teach the course, and someone suggested that “Brother Frye” teach. Kenneth was shocked. He recounted:
“I almost dropped my teeth because … first … I wasn't a member. Second… I really knew nothing about Mormonism, [and] wasn't particularly interested in it. But I thought, ‘Well, if this group of people are crazy enough to ask me to teach a course that I know nothing about, I'm crazy enough to take it,’ [and] I took it. I enjoyed it immensely. I didn't really learn too much about the church, but I found out a lot of the basic beliefs and principles.”
“Snotty-Nosed Mormon Missionaries”
The family later moved to San Leandro, California into a home with a big yard, a quieter location, and warmer weather compared to Alameda. Elizabeth’s church was also located a few blocks down the street, and it wasn’t long until the missionaries started showing up again. But they also gave up on Kenneth. There followed another set of missionaries, and this time one of them could answer Kenneth’s questions better than any previous missionaries. Kenneth was also attending Sunday School class at Elizabeth’s church and found a particular Sunday School teacher to be very good and influential, but was still far from being “converted.”
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| Kenneth and Elizabeth Frye Home, July 1994 San Leandro, California |
There was also a problem happening behind the scenes. Elizabeth’s health had been getting worse over time. After the birth of their first child, it was discovered she was epileptic and was subject to blackouts, or temporarily losing consciousness. Her condition grew worse with each succeeding pregnancy. During one blackout, she even fell and suffered a serious head laceration.
During this time the missionaries were teaching Kenneth in the home and were church “Elders,” Elizabeth suggested to Kenneth that he allow them to give her a priesthood blessing--an anointing with consecrated olive oil and a special prayer as mentioned in the Bible (James 5:14). Kenneth was incredulous. He had “absolutely no faith” in the “Mormon missionaries” or that they could make any difference. He thought, “What can those two young kids do who aren't even dry behind the ears yet?” Regardless, he consented to allow them to bless her since he didn’t think they could do any harm. The missionaries then gave Elizabeth the anointing and blessing. Kenneth later explained what followed:
“Well, needless to say, after that I had greater respect for the priesthood and its powers. Beth has never had one blackout since that time. She did have a sort of amnesia spell in a neurologist's office a short time after that, but nothing more even of that nature since... And I began to sit up and take notice that maybe these young snotty-nosed missionaries were truly servants of God…”
Kenneth then consented to be baptized and began to change habits such as giving up alcohol, cigars, coffee and other behaviors. He was baptized into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on March 6, 1954. At the time, he had been married to a church member for roughly 13 years and was nearly 42 years old. He documented the first time he bore testimony was on February 6, 1955 at a Latter-day Saint service aboard the USS Wasp, an aircraft carrier. On August 30, 1957, Kenneth was sealed to his wife and children for all eternity in the Los Angeles, California Temple.
Kenneth recorded the following comments in the years following his baptism:
“…Coming in the LDS Church was a great challenge for me…”
“…Giving testimony has been a very trying and sometimes rather exasperating experience…”
“…I've had some real shockers exposed to me and that's why I say it's still a challenge to this day for me to be obedient in many ways in accordance with the church's teachings.”
“…Being a member of the church for me has not been an easy thing to do.”
Indeed, it was not easy. Kenneth documented a great challenge a number of years later. Additionally, he retired from the United States Navy as a Lieutenant Commander effective December 31, 1955. He served for 27 years.
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| Lieutenant Commander Kenneth LeRoy Frye, 1955 |
“A Cold Week”
In 1967, December 14 was the coldest day of the year in San Leandro. Nearby Oakland International Airport recorded a low temperature of 36 degrees Fahrenheit and a day average temperature of 41.5 degrees, contrasted to the historic day average temperature of 50 degrees. This was also one of the coldest weeks in San Leandro’s history at the time.
Kenneth and the family nearly froze. The home’s furnace had not been working for at least one week, leaving them with no heat. On top of that, a windstorm the night of December 13 caused a power outage for a few hours. This rendered their electric blankets worthless adding to the miserably cold temperature.
On December 15 the family’s furnace got replaced. This provided relief from the cold, but the new furnace was just one expense in a chain of events leading to a great financial strain. It also posed a great spiritual challenge to Kenneth.
“Going Downhill”
About February and March of 1967, Kenneth had purchased mattresses, box springs, and a new refrigerator--a fair sum of money. He was working for Sears Roebuck Company at the time and his salary was commission-based. Kenneth had also started to pay a “full tithe,” or 10% of all his income/financial increase, to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This was something he was not previously very diligent with, albeit an expectation for church members. After he started paying a full tithe, things really began to go downhill.
In order to pay off previous debts and get his son, Michael, started on a two-year mission as a proselyting missionary, Kenneth had to take a loan against a life insurance policy. Kenneth also received a letter from his oldest son, Kenneth Jr., who was attending college and asked for money since his own finances were low and had expenses. The engine of the family car, a 1961 Buick Special Station Wagon, then failed when the engine block cracked requiring impossibly expensive repairs or a new car purchase.
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| A 1961 Buick Special Station Wagon |
Kenneth also learned his income taxes had not been paid and needed to be resolved quickly. His middle son, Ronald, was serving a foreign mission and needed financial support. To further complicate the situation, the house then needed an expensive new roof. By December, the home furnace gave out, leaving the family without heat during one of the coldest weeks in San Leandro’s history at the time. Soon thereafter, the hot water heater went out and needed replacement. The biggest blow came when it was discovered the front porch was infested with termites. Expensive extermination services and structural repairs were needed. In addition, the water well went out, and since the home was not using municipal water services, it needed immediate repair. All this after Kenneth starting to pay a full tithe, putting his trust in the following Bible verse:
“Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse,
That there may be meat in mine house,
and prove me now herewith …
If I will not open you the windows of heaven
And pour you out a blessing…” (Malachi 3:10)
The windows of heaven were certainly pouring out “blessings!”
Previous debts. Mattresses and box springs. A refrigerator. A needy college student. Two missionaries financially dependent on the family. A broken car engine. Income taxes. A roof for the house. A furnace. A water heater. Termites. A water well. All within months. And tithing to pay. Amidst all this, Kenneth recalled the heavy and discouraging financial burden:
“…Little did we know all the expenses we would have before the year was through.”
“…I felt the Lord was really testing me.”
“…I couldn't make it. When I really tried the hardest, it seemed like I had more temptation, let's say, to forget tithing.”
1967 and thereabouts was also a time where something like a bank credit card--having a revolving balance that could be paid off over time, and also semi-universal where it could be used at various vendors and multiple locations beyond a particular department or retail store--was a rarity. Kenneth did not have such convenience compared to today. The temptation to stop paying tithing to the church in order to pay for the numerous expenses must have been appealing and easy to justify. Kenneth also did something he absolutely abhorred—having to ask his brother, Ralph, to lend him money.
Although with a bleak financial prospect, Kenneth still chose to pay a full tithe throughout the whole ordeal. His son, Michael, later remarked, “It would have been easy, even merciful, to have excused himself from his promise to have paid a full tithe. But he didn’t opt for the easy out and kept his promise to the Lord. And the Lord kept his promise too. Although times were sometimes lean, necessities were always somehow acquired.”
“Worth Every Minute and Every Dollar”
After passing through the harrowing financial experience and having paid a full tithe, Kenneth later recounted: “It's worth every minute of it and every dollar that I put into it. It's a great privilege for a person who can change their attitudes and belief in something that I was violently opposed to.”
Kenneth also commented about his decision to remain firm in the church and its teachings:
“…I want to tell all the listeners, joining the church and trying to do the best I could, has been a very fruitful, entertaining, and a wonderful experience in my life. And I recommend it to all people who are striving to learn the true purpose of life and to serve in any capacity that they can accept and do a 100% job. I recommend this highly, all those who are listening to me will investigate to the best of their ability the standards and beliefs and practices of the LDS church. I think the Articles of Faith more fully and completely give you a better understanding of life and a life hereafter. This has been exceptionally blessing for me in these hard trying times…I do not regret joining the church…”
“I'm so grateful for [son-in-law] Jim’s and [daughter] Linda's encouragement and mostly for my wife and her help that had me come into the church. It changed many of my attitudes and my thinking, my conduct…”
“…Regardless of where you go, the church is there, and you're usually accepted without too much reservation as a member in that family. That's a great blessing. It's been a real joy to me and one of the smart things I did in my life…”
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| Elizabeth, Kenneth, Linda, Jim July 1989 |
Kenneth also frequently reminded his family of the love he had for his wife, Elizabeth, and her influence in helping him join the church. Had it not been for his previous two great sorrows--being dropped from pilot training and experiencing a divorce due to an unfaithful spouse--one can only speculate how Kenneth’s life would have turned out without Elizabeth. Kenneth remarked as follows:
“I've come to the conclusion this was, next to marrying my wife, this [joining the church] was the wisest decision I ever made.”
“After five children and approximately 13 years of marriage to my wife Beth, I joined the church. Probably the wisest move I ever made [...].”
“…I've always had a real testimony of God the Father, Jesus Christ His Son, and I'm very grateful for the many things that the church has helped me on, particularly in the rearing of my children.”
“…Probably my most spiritual [experience] of all was when my wife and I were sealed in the Los Angeles temple. […] I know that joining the church was not only good for me but made us more united as a family.”
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| Frye Family Back row (left to right): Ronald, Kenneth Jr., Kenneth Sr., Michael Front row (left to right): Cheryl, Elizabeth, Linda |
“Safe Deposit Box”
Kenneth LeRoy Frye passed away on August 12, 1998, nearly 86 years old, and only about three years after some of the treasured audio interviews were recorded by his daughter, Linda. At his funeral, his daughter Cheryl spoke of a small detail about his life not widely known among the family, but emphasized the intent of his heart and how he really felt about the church’s standards and teachings. Cheryl explained as follows:
“Dad had a safe deposit box at the bank. And I said, you know dad, we’ve got a couple of safes at home that are fireproof. If you want to, save yourself a little extra funds and you could just use our safe deposit box. Which he did… he had his insurance policies, and title to the car, and different things, and his retirement and what not. And I categorized the things that were in this little folder that I put into our fire-proof safe at home. One of the things that dad placed in our safe at home was this proclamation [The Family: A Proclamation to the World]. And I don’t know about you, but I think if you read the content of this, I think that says something very dear and very special about dad.”
“Total Opposite of 40 Years Ago”
So, what changed for Kenneth LeRoy Frye Sr. before passing away? How could he, in the words of a granddaughter, have an opinion “the total opposite of 40 years ago?”
Perhaps it can be boiled down to eyesight, either literal or figurative.
While Kenneth’s eyes may have originally been focused on becoming a Navy pilot, poor vision allowed him to live in order to see it all.
While an ex-wife’s eyes may have wandered to other men and caused a divorce, it eventually brought into Kenneth’s view a Latter-day Saint woman, Elizabeth, “more worthy of his affections” and who also was a major positive influence.
While Kenneth saw The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in a negative light for decades, it was nothing compared to the brightness of observing Primary children and their teachers for but a few years.
While his wife Elizabeth’s eyesight may have “darkened” because of blackouts during epileptic episodes, Kenneth’s eyes became enlightened to the realization of God’s power through a priesthood blessing by young missionaries.
While major financial burdens may have tempted Kenneth to look toward money as a source of relief, it was actually his eyes of faith looking toward God and His promises which provided the things that really mattered--whether for this life or in preparation for the next.
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Written and adapted August 11, 2022 by Thomas S. Hartley, grandson to Kenneth LeRoy Frye Sr. Reviewed and approved by Linda Frye Hartley and Michael Frye, children to Kenneth LeRoy Frye Sr.
Primary Sources:
Autobiography of Kenneth LeRoy Frye Sr. Typed by Linda Frye Hartley (daughter) on June 12, 1975.
Oral History of Kenneth LeRoy Frye Sr., Discs 1-5. Oral interviews were recorded between August 11, 1994 and June 4, 1995 and then later transcribed in July 2022.
Video Recording of the Funeral of Kenneth LeRoy Frye Sr. – August 22, 1998.
The autobiography, audio recordings and transcripts are available for free at FamilySearch.org under Kenneth LeRoy Frye’s memories:
https://www.familysearch.org/tree/person/memories/KWCD-W4X
Other Sources or References:
Various telephone conversations, email exchanges, and otherwise between Thomas S. Hartley, grandson, and Linda Frye Hartley and Michael Frye, children, to Kenneth LeRoy Frye Sr.
Weather Underground. San Leandro/Oakland International Airport Station. Includes temperature averages/highs/lows, wind speeds, etc.
Daily https://www.wunderground.com/history/daily/us/ca/oakland/KOAK/date/1967-12-14
Weekly: https://www.wunderground.com/history/weekly/us/ca/oakland/KOAK/date/1967-12-15
Monthly: https://www.wunderground.com/history/monthly/us/ca/oakland/KOAK/date/1967-12
Federal Reserve. Credit Cards: Use and Consumer Attitudes, 1970–2000, Thomas A. Durkin. https://www.federalreserve.gov/pubs/bulletin/2000/0900lead.pdf
Notes:
Kenneth mentioned in his autobiography the car’s transmission went out, but stated in a recorded audio interview the car’s engine needed to be rebuilt. Two children, Michael and Ronald, indicate they are certain it was the car’s engine since the 1961 Buick special was when an aluminum block engine was introduced.
Kenneth documented his marriage to Dannie as September 1934. The actual marriage certificate states the marriage took place in January 1934. The reason for the discrepancy is unknown, perhaps a transcription error or other mistake in the autobiography.