Summary, highlights, and visual journey taken from my missionary journal while serving for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Images include AI generation using the original journal text and/or enhancement or modification of actual photos where available.
Elder Thomas S. Hartley, Brazil Rio de Janeiro Mission, July 2003 - July 2005
The Miraculous Making of Margaret McKercher's Conversion
How a Bottle of Pills Became a Baptismal Font
In early 1957, Naomi Randall was given the assignment to write a new song for a children's religious conference on the program's theme: "A Child's Plea." The event would be held in April the same year and take place at the Salt Lake Tabernacle. The night after the assignment was given, Naomi prayed aloud to know the right text for the song and then went to bed at her home in Ogden, Utah. Around 2:00 a.m. she suddenly awakened, and in the darkness and quietness, words began to form in her mind. She immediately got up and wrote as fast as she could. Three verses and a chorus were soon formed. Knowing where the words came from, Naomi kneeled in prayer again and thanked her Father in Heaven. The lyrics were mailed that week to Mildred Pettit of Pasadena, California, who would compose the music. The song would be called, "I am a Child of God."
The Best Christmas in Years
Fast forward to Christmas day 1978 in the surrounding areas of Denver, Colorado. A 67-year-old woman named Margaret McKercher just finished a Christmas dinner with friends, the Don and Linda Perry family, and would now have a family home evening. Senior-age sister missionaries, Norma Hartley and Afton Deaton from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints ("Mormon"), were also invited and would give a spiritual message and provide activities.
A fire was lit in the fireplace and Christmas tree lights were turned on. Everyone there took turns reading passages from the Bible about the birth of Jesus Christ and participated in activities for children and adults. The room lights were then turned off, and just the fireplace and Christmas tree lights were on as they all sang Christmas carols. However, the last song, "I am a Child of God," was sung to Margaret, who presumably was unfamiliar with it. Tears rolled down her cheeks as they sang it to her. When Margaret was later taken home by the missionaries that night, she commented, "This is the best Christmas I have had in years."
A Life of Spiritual Searching
Margaret Bernice Seffens McKercher was born July 20, 1911, and raised in a Pentecostal home. Margaret learned from the Bible, and believed in God as her Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ the Son of God, and the Holy Spirit. She witnessed at a young age her mother being divinely healed of tuberculosis and personally experienced divine healings herself. By age 17, Margaret was asked to leave the Pentecostal church on account of being too "worldly" -- using perfume, silk stockings, jewelry, and more. But she did not lose her love for God and Jesus Christ, and lamented she did not always live a Christian life. She later married, but it ended in divorce after a number of years. She married a second time, but that also ended in divorce. After the two failed marriages, she took up activity in the Religious Science church.
The Pull of Family History
In 1965, Margaret developed an interest in genealogy, or family history. She wrote her older brother about the family background, and again some years later wrote her sister about the subject. Margaret also remembered some information given to her by her parents (who already passed away many years before), but even then, she felt she had no idea how to go about doing family history and what to do with the information she already had.
By 1971, Margaret starting having poignant and deep questions about life. As she recounted in a letter: "[…] I began to realize that I was getting all mixed up. Was it possible that Jesus Christ was just a good man that came to show us how to live and nothing else? Was mind really the answer? These things I found conflicted with my heart; so I quit Church and tried others -- but always it left me right back where I was -- unsatisfied and searching. So, in my heart I began praying that I would find the way, that something would come to me that I felt was real and alive." The desire to get her family history in order was greatly magnified around 1974 when her first great-grandchild was born and she looked at the baby for the first time. She knew she had to work on her family history, but in her own words, "[…] Still I floundered and procrastinated."
An Unexpected Visit
Around 1976, Margaret wrote to relatives in Texas about family history, and was referred to another cousin, Tom McKnight, who lived in Las Vegas, Nevada. He traced family back to the 1600s. Tom McKnight would respond to Margaret with a letter and filling out a "referral card," but instead of sending them back directly to her, they were sent to a local congregation of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the Denver, Colorado area (Applewood Ward, Lakewood/Wheatridge area), which would then be delivered to Margaret in person. Tom wrote on the referral card that accompanied the letter: "Margaret is interested in genealogy."
From Margaret's point of view, it took several months after writing Tom McKnight to finally get an answer. But the reply came in an unexpected fashion. Don Perry and another man, from that local congregation, got in touch and delivered the letter in person. Margaret later recounted:
"I could not understand why, but I asked [Don Perry] and Brother Price into my apartment and talked with them and told them that I was a member of the Religious Science Church, but I was interested in all religions and liked to read about them and asked for a Book of Mormon. I had been in Salt Lake City and in the Tabernacle 40 years ago and had picked up a book telling about Joseph Smith and the golden plates."
Not much more came after of that meeting. It was very hard to get in touch with Margaret and contact subsequently ceased with the local congregation. But a number of events, unseen to Margaret, were set in motion that would later drastically change her life.
A Widow's Call to Serve
In late 1976, a Charles Hartley of San Lorenzo, California passed away in his sleep from a heart attack. Norma Hartley, his wife, was devasted from the sudden loss and was now a widow at age 62. Norma moved to Provo, Utah following the death, and attended a congregation of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The local church leader, Bishop Lossee, asked Norma if she would like to go on an 18-month voluntary proselyting mission, perhaps recognizing her circumstances as a widow and otherwise being capable and open to the opportunity. She thought he was joking since the congregation was to be split into two in the near future, and she would be going to the other congregation with a new bishop who did not know her. Regardless, Norma learned in a short while that Bishop Lossee spoke with the other leader of the new congregation, and that she would be going on a mission. And sure enough, it happened.
Norma ended up completing all the necessary paperwork, resolving health issues, doing required physical check-ups, and also taking care of other necessities, such as renting her Provo home while away. Norma was called as a full-time proselyting missionary on June 8, 1978 to the Colorado Denver Mission and would officially begin her service on August 12. After about a week of training in Salt Lake City, Norma drove her car to Littleton, Colorado to meet mission leaders, receive her first assigned missionary companion, and to start missionary work in the area.
A Sick Companion and Divine Timing
After serving for two months in Wheatridge and thereabouts, Norma's first companion was transferred by the mission leader to a different area. This was a surprise to both Norma and her companion, as they were expecting Norma to be transferred. Regardless, Norma would remain in place at Wheatridge and receive a new companion, Afton Deaton.
The day after Afton's arrival, Afton became quite ill and needed to remain at the missionary apartment to rest and recover. This was on October 18, a Wednesday. Norma was unable to find someone else to do missionary work, so she had to remain at home as well. While confined at home that Wednesday, Norma decided to work on missionary reports, do telephone tracting, and go through old referral cards. But none of this resulted in much. Feeling she had no luck, Norma decided to kneel and ask Heavenly Father in prayer to help her know what to do. After the prayer, she laid down on her bed and fell asleep. Upon awakening, a strong impression came to Norma to check one of the referral cards again, the one with Margaret McKercher's name. The card was two years old by now and was recently given to them by a Don Perry from the local church congregation.
Norma reviewed the card again and read that it was filled out by a cousin, Tom McKnight, and that he wrote "Margaret is interested in genealogy." When Norma saw that word, genealogy, a light came into her mind. No one had tried to reach Margaret through genealogy. This was Norma's specialty. Norma thought to herself, "This was my line. I just might be able to help her."
Norma dialed the telephone number on the card and found Margaret was home! Norma and her previous companion had tried so many times to reach Margaret and simply could not find her at home. Afton's illness interestingly created circumstances that normally would not have happened, and Norma's prayer, nap, and diligence to a spiritual prompting gave way to providential timing and opportunity.
"Not very good"
Margaret mentioned that Wednesdays were her day off in general, as she worked as a dental assistant during the week and then in the evenings she went to the gym for a workout. Norma then asked how she was doing with her genealogy. "Not very good," replied Margaret. Norma explained she had 14-years training at the Oakland, California Genealogical Library and said she could help if Margaret wanted. After some hesitation, Margaret accepted and asked for Norma to stop by at 7:30 that evening. Norma committed to the appointment and said she would be there.
Afton felt well enough to accompany Norma by evening time. They arrived at Margaret's home and found she had a lot of family history information but didn't know how to record it. Norma showed how to put it on a pedigree chart so names, dates, and places could be seen. Norma also told Margaret where to write to get more information, and to call her when the information came and she would come again on Margaret's day off to help her. Margaret was so pleased she set up another appointment anyway for the next Wednesday evening. Additional visits followed thereafter over the course of two months to help Margaret with her family history.
"Why haven't I been told this before?"
On December 6, 1978, Norma told her missionary companion before an appointment with Margaret that now is the time to explain why family history is so important. If Margaret accepted, this would entail a religious discussion involving Bible scriptures, life after death, baptism, temples, eternal families, and more.
That evening, Norma and Afton accompanied Margaret go to a store to purchase genealogy supplies and then went back to her home to fill out family group sheets. After completing the family group sheets, Norma turned to Margaret and asked, "Will you please let us tell you why this genealogy is so important?" Margaret replied, "Yes, please tell me."
Norma asked Margaret to bring her Bible so she could see the verses and scriptures were in her own King James Bible. Norma discussed the spirit world, or the place where spirits of deceased persons go after dying. Afton followed up by telling Margaret the purpose of being here on Earth, and why it is important to have a physical body. Norma continued about the resurrection and atonement of Jesus Christ, indicating our spirits and bodies will eventually reunite and be made perfect. Norma then asked her, "Do you know where Christ's spirit was during the three days His body lay in the tomb?" Margaret answered, "No."
Norma told her to take her Bible and turn to 1 Peter 3:18-20, relating to Jesus preaching to the spirits of those who were dead. Margaret was also directed to various other scriptures such as John 20:16-17, 1 Peter 4:6, John 3:5, 1 Corinthians 15:29, Hebrews 5:4-10, Mark 3:14, John 15:16, Matthew 16:19, Ephesians 4:11, and others. All these emphasized and connected the reality of the spirit world, life after death, the requirement of baptism to enter the kingdom of God, the need of proper authority in an organized church with leadership like apostles and prophets, and even that baptisms for the dead are available to those who died without it.
Norma concluded, "This was the way Christ organized His church. [There was] a falling away and prophecies of a restoration. Christ's church has been restored as it was anciently and we have a living prophet today to guide us. We have temples where through the priesthood authority families can be bound together for eternity. This is why we do genealogy."
Margaret began to cry. She said, "Why haven't I been told this before?" Norma answered, "You weren't ready for it. Now you are." Norma and Afton then showed Margaret the film, "Man's Search for Happiness." Margaret cried again and indicated, "Now I know why my dead husband has been in my dreams the last two nights."
January 12
After that evening, Margaret wanted to know all she could about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. She requested to be taught twice a week and started to read the Book of Momon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ. She committed to put to the test a promise in the book that by having real intent, and praying to know whether it is true or not, that the power of the Holy Ghost would help her know.
A few weeks passed by and then arrived Christmas day, December 25, 1978. That great and influential day when Margaret experienced the powerful home evening with the Perry family and the missionaries. After that Christmas day and home evening experience ending with the song, "I am a child of God," Margaret wanted the missionaries to come even more frequently to teach her -- Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday.
At the next Thursday lesson, December 28, the missionaries invited her to be baptized. Norma asked, "Margaret, do you believe what we have been teaching you is true?" She answered, "Yes, I have even asked my son and daughter what they would think if I joined the Mormon Church. They told me that if I felt that it was what I wanted then I should do it." Norma then followed, "How soon do you want to be baptized?" Margaret thought for a moment, then replied, "I think that January 12, [1979] would be a good time." The missionaries put it on the calendar to take place at that time in about two weeks' time.
A Midnight Impression
As the missionaries went back to their apartment that Thursday night, Norma had a thought that something may be amiss with the January 12 baptism date. Norma prayed that night and asked God to help her know if Margaret should wait until January 12 to be baptized. Norma went to bed and slept until around 2:00 a.m., when she was suddenly awakened. Something she heard with her mind and heart, "Margaret must not wait until January 12. She must be baptized as soon as possible."
At the next appointment Saturday night, December 30, the first thing Norma said to Margaret was, "You can't be baptized on January 12. You must be baptized as soon as you can." Norma related how she was awakened during the night and heard that thought. Margaret said, "My goodness am I going to die?" Norma answered, "Well, I hope not, but can you be baptized tomorrow night? It is New Year's Eve. It is Sunday, and we can get access to the baptism font." Margaret accepted the invitation to be baptized the next day, right before the new year.
The Baptism on New Year's Eve
You never saw two missionaries work faster than they did to get Margaret through a baptismal interview with a local church leader, clothes to be baptized in, and to reserve the baptismal font at a local church building. That Sunday, December 31, 1978, Margaret attended the congregation's Sunday school and main meeting, sacrament meeting. She talked to the congregation's bishop, and during the sacrament meeting he announced Margaret's baptism and asked church members to attend and welcome her.
The missionaries were worried about the experience Margaret may have. It was a very cold day that day, just three degrees above zero. And that it was New Year's Eve. But when it came time for the baptism, the missionaries were surprised to see so many attending to support Margaret. Don Perry of the congregation baptized Margaret and conferred upon her the gift of the Holy Ghost. Norma wrote in her journal that she never saw a more radiant person than Margaret. And the baptismal service concluded with the singing of the hymn, "I am a Child of God." Margaret radiated happiness through tears streaming down her face. After the baptismal service, the Perry family and Margaret came to the missionaries apartment for fruitcake, cookies, and hot chocolate. It was a great way to start a new year and a new life.
The Urgency Confirmed
When January 12, 1979 came around, Norma wrote the following detail in her journal: "On January 12, the date Margaret had [originally] picked for her baptism, we had one of the worst blizzards you ever saw. Margaret called me that day and told me that she had to stay home from work because she was so sick that she could hardly raise her head." Perhaps it was then when Norma realized why she felt spiritually impressed to baptize Margaret as soon as possible and not on January 12!
Real and Alive
On January 15, Margaret also wrote a letter to the mission leaders of the Colorado Denver mission regarding her conversion. She explained:
"Thank you so much for your recent letter welcoming me into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I cannot begin to tell you of the joy it has brought me. I think I shall never cease to marvel at the love you dear people radiate. At my baptism, I had never in my life felt so much love. The room was warm with it, even though it was 3 degrees outside. I wept with joy and humility and what made it more marvelous was that so many dear people would brave a cold New Year's Eve just for my baptism…
… [And] as I recall, the first night we worked on my genealogy getting it put together and giving me instructions and homework. They asked if they could come back the next week to continue work. It was three weeks before Sister Hartley asked me to let her tell me why genealogy was so important. Then pieces began to fit together such as my great interest in the early civilization on this hemisphere. I began taking the lessons and reading the Book of Mormon. I became very interested in the Church and as I learned more, I began to wonder if this was not the real truth that I had been seeking. Things began to add up for me and I asked many questions, and the answers always bore witness to the truth. My hunger increased as the lessons progressed. These two precious Sisters took such an interest in me and they radiated such warmth and love that I began to feel that I might be 'The One'. The Church is real and alive. I have found the peace I have been searching for. -- Margaret McKercher"
Bottle of Pills
Norma Hartley later went on to serve in other areas of the Colorado Denver mission, but she did not lose contact with Margaret. Norma was released from missionary service on February 20, 1980 and had returned to her home in Provo, Utah
In October 1980, Margaret travelled to Utah and spent two weeks with Norma. Margaret went to the temple in Provo seven times, and was sealed for all time and eternity to her father and mother, along with her three brothers. She also visited the genealogical or family history library in Salt Lake City, and another one in Provo.
And at the very end of her trip to Utah as Margaret was ready to board a plane to Colorado, she confided something profound and tender to Norma. Margaret said that the week Norma called on her, she had found life so hard and so unsatisfactory that she had planned to take her own life. She had purchased a bottle of sleeping pills and had a plastic bag to put over her head to end it all. But then Norma and her companion came and gave Margaret a whole new way of life.
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| Norma Hartley as a missionary Colorado, 1979 |
Sources:
History and Testimony of My Missionary Experiences - Norma Miner Hartley
Written by Thomas Hartley, grandson of Norma Miner Hartley (Haymond)
To honor my grandfather, Kenneth LeRoy Frye Sr., and to more thoroughly document his life in one place, I present the following:
“Something You Thought You Were So Right About”
May 26, 1995 in Murray, Utah:
Granddaughter: “…I was just gonna ask Grandpa, do you have any opinions today that are the total opposite of what you had 40 years ago? Something you thought you were so right about, and you were never gonna change ...and all of a sudden...”
Grandpa: “Well yes, I swore I'd never join the LDS church, for instance.”
Now that is quite a response coming from a man who held very strong negative sentiments and opinions for decades toward The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (“LDS” or “Mormon”) as an institution, primarily because of past polygamy. In his own words:
“…I resisted the church very vigorously....”
“…I was violently opposed to [the LDS church].”
The dialogue and comments were taken from interviews of Kenneth LeRoy Frye Sr., or “Grandpa” or “Kenneth,” by his children and grandchildren recorded on audio cassette tapes. By 1995, Kenneth was 82 years old and recounting earlier times, having already lived a life replete with diverse experiences worth documenting and passing down to future generations.
But what changed for Kenneth? Why would he do an about-face, and embrace something he previously opposed “vigorously” or “violently?”
“I’m Gonna Join the Navy”
Around 1926, an ex-Navy man and his wife opened up a local bakery shop in the small town of Seneca, Missouri. Then 14-year-old Kenneth LeRoy Frye was hired nearly immediately to help clean and make bread, pastries, pies, cakes, and donuts. He really admired the man for whom he worked and was told many stories and experiences of his 20 years or so in the Navy. This created a great deal of interest and a desire for Kenneth to join the Navy, but he would need to wait another three years until he was at least 17.
Within months of working, Kenneth moved in with the family who lived right above the bakery. The business was a successful endeavor and also had little competition. But the couple who owned the bakery moved away seemingly abruptly, and Kenneth ended up taking charge of the bakery at age 15. He later learned the reason for the owners’ move, and it really hurt him since he considered them second parents. Evidently, the wife had been “playing footsie with several of the town Romeos.” In other words, she was unfaithful to her husband and marital vows. Kenneth grew up in a devout Methodist household, and unfaithfulness to one’s spouse was a serious offense.
Kenneth continued working at the bakery until the age of 16. He also had a stint working on a farm doing manual labor, pitching wheat or hay and throwing it into a wagon. While working hard on the farm one day, Kenneth became very tired, exhausted and was dripping with sweat. He couldn’t take it anymore. He then exclaimed to a friend working with him at the time, “The hell with this. I’m gonna join the Navy!” His friend looked at him for a minute, then threw down his own pitchfork, and replied, “So am I!”
“First Great Sorrow”
The stories of the ex-Navy man--his adventures and experiences--excited Kenneth enough that he decided he was smart enough to quit school and join the Navy. The problem was Kenneth was only 16 years old, one year shy of the minimum age requirement. But he applied to join the Navy anyway. He lied about his birth year as 1911 instead of 1912, and somehow got his mother to sign the paperwork attesting to his fabricated age making it appear as if he was 17. With age no longer an issue, he was accepted into the Navy in 1928 and set his sights on becoming a pilot, a long-held dream. Kenneth received basic training at the Naval Training Station at Great Lakes, Illinois. He was then transferred to San Diego, California where he completed a pilot course and other training. He loved every minute of it.
Kenneth was recommended for Aviation Pilot School, but eventually dropped from pilot training because his eyesight didn’t meet the standard needed for pilots. Kenneth felt crushed and mortified, his dream shattered in an instant. It was almost as if his existence had ended. It was the first great sorrow in his life and required a long time to recover from the disappointment. He left the Navy after a four-year enlistment and returned home to Seneca, Missouri. After two months of trying to get back into the bakery business, he decided to re-enlist in the Navy since he thought it would provide more opportunity and greater financial security. In September 1932, he was assigned to Pensacola, Florida. Instead of pilot training, he worked in aircraft operations and maintenance, somewhat gratifying as it still involved airplanes and transport flying to an extent.
“Second Great Sorrow”
While in Pensacola, Florida, Kenneth met a girl named Dannie and was married in January 1934. He loved her greatly. They lived with Dannie’s mother and brother in Pensacola until January 1935, when Kenneth was transferred to California for a new assignment aboard the USS Maryland, a battleship. Dannie remained behind in Florida while Kenneth was stationed at San Pedro, California.
Near the end of 1936, however, Kenneth discovered his wife was not the person he thought she was. She got involved in things he could not believe. Dannie was unfaithful to him and her marital vows and had already started an annulment of their marriage. After nearly three years of marriage and being physically apart due to the Navy transfer, the divorce was finalized on December 11, 1936. Dannie was also married that same day to another man. Just a day earlier, December 10, Kenneth was transferred to the fleet air base at Pearl Harbor, Hawaii, his last day as a married man.
The attorney working with Kenneth stated in a letter after the divorce, “My advice would be to forget the unpleasantness of the past and find someone perhaps more worthy of your affections in the future.”
Kenneth later lamented: “I couldn't quite cope with the idea [Dannie] had been untrue to me, and I knew if I stayed in the Navy, this is a true test of a person's ability to maintain the marriage vows.” The betrayal and divorce were his second great sorrow in life to that point. It would take him some years to recover emotionally.
“A Big Break”
By September 1939, Kenneth had been transferred to Anacostia Naval Air Station in Washington D.C. That brought an opportunity to meet Elizabeth Annie West at a dance. Elizabeth usually didn’t like to attend dances, but her sister, Blanche, persisted, and they went together. Kenneth and Elizabeth both danced that night then dated for a time. Kenneth cut off the relationship when the topic of marriage came up and Elizabeth shared her intention of raising children in her “Mormon” faith, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Kenneth wouldn’t have it--being a Methodist--he couldn’t swallow some of the beliefs and practices of Elizabeth’s church. He had previously ended a relationship with another woman for the same reason, wanting to raise her children in the Catholic faith.
Kenneth still had a strong desire to
get married and have children. He felt “old and desperate” being nearly 28
years old. Some time passed, and he reached out to Elizabeth again. They again discussed
marriage and compromised that the children would make their own choice regarding
church or religion when they were old enough. Agreeing on this matter, and after
somewhat “businesslike” dating, the two were married on November 2, 1940 in
Washington D.C.
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| Kenneth and Elizabeth Frye November 2, 1940 |
After World War II broke out and the U.S. entered the war in the 1940s, Kenneth recognized his poor eyesight and vision had given him “a big break.” He learned the unfortunate truth that most, if not all of his companions in his basic pilot training group, had been killed in the war except for one who was dropped from pilot training for poor eyesight as well.
Had Kenneth’s eyesight been good enough, he likely would have suffered the same fate as his colleagues and been killed as a Navy pilot. Kenneth credits his poor eyesight and vision for extending his life. It is also likely he would have never met and married Elizabeth Annie West. She ended up being someone worthy of Kenneth’s affections and became a profound influence in his life.
“Mormons Did a Lotta Crazy Things”
While living in Washington D.C. and thereabouts, Kenneth and Elizabeth had five children. Kenneth regularly attended the Methodist Church, where he taught Sunday School. Most of the time, Elizabeth and the children would accompany him. On several occasions, however, the family attended Elizabeth’s church--The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints--and something caught Kenneth’s attention. When he took his children to Primary, singing time and gospel classes for kids, he could not believe his eyes. He said:
“Here were 35 or maybe 40 youngsters that were actually sitting down, respectful and seemed to be intelligent, well-behaved children. And at the time, I thought, ‘Well, I know these Mormons did a lotta crazy things, but I didn't know they drugged their children...’”
Joking aside, he was so impressed with their behavior he could not fathom how it could be otherwise. Over the next few years, he observed the conduct of the children and adults involved in the Primary. He was also impressed by the good examples of the church members and developed a budding interest in the church’s “philosophies” even though he still doubted many aspects of the church.
Kenneth started taking gospel lessons at home from the Latter-day Saint missionaries but was a “hard nut to crack.” Two different pairs of missionaries had already given up and stopped visiting him. He felt they couldn’t answer his questions adequately. When a third set of missionaries visited him, he was more impressed as they could consistently answer his questions with the scriptures. Kenneth was still far from wanting to join Elizabeth’s church, and by mid-1952, the family was transferred by the Navy to Alameda, California.
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| Frye Family, 1950 Back Row (left to right): Kenneth Sr., Kenneth Jr., and Elizabeth Front Row (left to right): Cheryl, Ronald, and Michael *Daughter Linda not born yet |
“Crazy Enough to Take It”
In Alameda, the family lived for a short time in naval housing. Kenneth and Elizabeth attended a weekly Latter-day Saint evening activity called “Mutual.” Kenneth made several friends and had lots of fun. He attended for about one month, and it is not entirely certain whether the local congregation mistook him as a member. The group was looking for a volunteer to teach the course, and someone suggested that “Brother Frye” teach. Kenneth was shocked. He recounted:
“I almost dropped my teeth because … first … I wasn't a member. Second… I really knew nothing about Mormonism, [and] wasn't particularly interested in it. But I thought, ‘Well, if this group of people are crazy enough to ask me to teach a course that I know nothing about, I'm crazy enough to take it,’ [and] I took it. I enjoyed it immensely. I didn't really learn too much about the church, but I found out a lot of the basic beliefs and principles.”
“Snotty-Nosed Mormon Missionaries”
The family later moved to San Leandro, California into a home with a big yard, a quieter location, and warmer weather compared to Alameda. Elizabeth’s church was also located a few blocks down the street, and it wasn’t long until the missionaries started showing up again. But they also gave up on Kenneth. There followed another set of missionaries, and this time one of them could answer Kenneth’s questions better than any previous missionaries. Kenneth was also attending Sunday School class at Elizabeth’s church and found a particular Sunday School teacher to be very good and influential, but was still far from being “converted.”
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| Kenneth and Elizabeth Frye Home, July 1994 San Leandro, California |
There was also a problem happening behind the scenes. Elizabeth’s health had been getting worse over time. After the birth of their first child, it was discovered she was epileptic and was subject to blackouts, or temporarily losing consciousness. Her condition grew worse with each succeeding pregnancy. During one blackout, she even fell and suffered a serious head laceration.
During this time the missionaries were teaching Kenneth in the home and were church “Elders,” Elizabeth suggested to Kenneth that he allow them to give her a priesthood blessing--an anointing with consecrated olive oil and a special prayer as mentioned in the Bible (James 5:14). Kenneth was incredulous. He had “absolutely no faith” in the “Mormon missionaries” or that they could make any difference. He thought, “What can those two young kids do who aren't even dry behind the ears yet?” Regardless, he consented to allow them to bless her since he didn’t think they could do any harm. The missionaries then gave Elizabeth the anointing and blessing. Kenneth later explained what followed:
“Well, needless to say, after that I had greater respect for the priesthood and its powers. Beth has never had one blackout since that time. She did have a sort of amnesia spell in a neurologist's office a short time after that, but nothing more even of that nature since... And I began to sit up and take notice that maybe these young snotty-nosed missionaries were truly servants of God…”
Kenneth then consented to be baptized and began to change habits such as giving up alcohol, cigars, coffee and other behaviors. He was baptized into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on March 6, 1954. At the time, he had been married to a church member for roughly 13 years and was nearly 42 years old. He documented the first time he bore testimony was on February 6, 1955 at a Latter-day Saint service aboard the USS Wasp, an aircraft carrier. On August 30, 1957, Kenneth was sealed to his wife and children for all eternity in the Los Angeles, California Temple.
Kenneth recorded the following comments in the years following his baptism:
“…Coming in the LDS Church was a great challenge for me…”
“…Giving testimony has been a very trying and sometimes rather exasperating experience…”
“…I've had some real shockers exposed to me and that's why I say it's still a challenge to this day for me to be obedient in many ways in accordance with the church's teachings.”
“…Being a member of the church for me has not been an easy thing to do.”
Indeed, it was not easy. Kenneth documented a great challenge a number of years later. Additionally, he retired from the United States Navy as a Lieutenant Commander effective December 31, 1955. He served for 27 years.
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| Lieutenant Commander Kenneth LeRoy Frye, 1955 |
“A Cold Week”
In 1967, December 14 was the coldest day of the year in San Leandro. Nearby Oakland International Airport recorded a low temperature of 36 degrees Fahrenheit and a day average temperature of 41.5 degrees, contrasted to the historic day average temperature of 50 degrees. This was also one of the coldest weeks in San Leandro’s history at the time.
Kenneth and the family nearly froze. The home’s furnace had not been working for at least one week, leaving them with no heat. On top of that, a windstorm the night of December 13 caused a power outage for a few hours. This rendered their electric blankets worthless adding to the miserably cold temperature.
On December 15 the family’s furnace got replaced. This provided relief from the cold, but the new furnace was just one expense in a chain of events leading to a great financial strain. It also posed a great spiritual challenge to Kenneth.
“Going Downhill”
About February and March of 1967, Kenneth had purchased mattresses, box springs, and a new refrigerator--a fair sum of money. He was working for Sears Roebuck Company at the time and his salary was commission-based. Kenneth had also started to pay a “full tithe,” or 10% of all his income/financial increase, to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This was something he was not previously very diligent with, albeit an expectation for church members. After he started paying a full tithe, things really began to go downhill.
In order to pay off previous debts and get his son, Michael, started on a two-year mission as a proselyting missionary, Kenneth had to take a loan against a life insurance policy. Kenneth also received a letter from his oldest son, Kenneth Jr., who was attending college and asked for money since his own finances were low and had expenses. The engine of the family car, a 1961 Buick Special Station Wagon, then failed when the engine block cracked requiring impossibly expensive repairs or a new car purchase.
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| A 1961 Buick Special Station Wagon |
Kenneth also learned his income taxes had not been paid and needed to be resolved quickly. His middle son, Ronald, was serving a foreign mission and needed financial support. To further complicate the situation, the house then needed an expensive new roof. By December, the home furnace gave out, leaving the family without heat during one of the coldest weeks in San Leandro’s history at the time. Soon thereafter, the hot water heater went out and needed replacement. The biggest blow came when it was discovered the front porch was infested with termites. Expensive extermination services and structural repairs were needed. In addition, the water well went out, and since the home was not using municipal water services, it needed immediate repair. All this after Kenneth starting to pay a full tithe, putting his trust in the following Bible verse:
“Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse,
That there may be meat in mine house,
and prove me now herewith …
If I will not open you the windows of heaven
And pour you out a blessing…” (Malachi 3:10)
The windows of heaven were certainly pouring out “blessings!”
Previous debts. Mattresses and box springs. A refrigerator. A needy college student. Two missionaries financially dependent on the family. A broken car engine. Income taxes. A roof for the house. A furnace. A water heater. Termites. A water well. All within months. And tithing to pay. Amidst all this, Kenneth recalled the heavy and discouraging financial burden:
“…Little did we know all the expenses we would have before the year was through.”
“…I felt the Lord was really testing me.”
“…I couldn't make it. When I really tried the hardest, it seemed like I had more temptation, let's say, to forget tithing.”
1967 and thereabouts was also a time where something like a bank credit card--having a revolving balance that could be paid off over time, and also semi-universal where it could be used at various vendors and multiple locations beyond a particular department or retail store--was a rarity. Kenneth did not have such convenience compared to today. The temptation to stop paying tithing to the church in order to pay for the numerous expenses must have been appealing and easy to justify. Kenneth also did something he absolutely abhorred—having to ask his brother, Ralph, to lend him money.
Although with a bleak financial prospect, Kenneth still chose to pay a full tithe throughout the whole ordeal. His son, Michael, later remarked, “It would have been easy, even merciful, to have excused himself from his promise to have paid a full tithe. But he didn’t opt for the easy out and kept his promise to the Lord. And the Lord kept his promise too. Although times were sometimes lean, necessities were always somehow acquired.”
“Worth Every Minute and Every Dollar”
After passing through the harrowing financial experience and having paid a full tithe, Kenneth later recounted: “It's worth every minute of it and every dollar that I put into it. It's a great privilege for a person who can change their attitudes and belief in something that I was violently opposed to.”
Kenneth also commented about his decision to remain firm in the church and its teachings:
“…I want to tell all the listeners, joining the church and trying to do the best I could, has been a very fruitful, entertaining, and a wonderful experience in my life. And I recommend it to all people who are striving to learn the true purpose of life and to serve in any capacity that they can accept and do a 100% job. I recommend this highly, all those who are listening to me will investigate to the best of their ability the standards and beliefs and practices of the LDS church. I think the Articles of Faith more fully and completely give you a better understanding of life and a life hereafter. This has been exceptionally blessing for me in these hard trying times…I do not regret joining the church…”
“I'm so grateful for [son-in-law] Jim’s and [daughter] Linda's encouragement and mostly for my wife and her help that had me come into the church. It changed many of my attitudes and my thinking, my conduct…”
“…Regardless of where you go, the church is there, and you're usually accepted without too much reservation as a member in that family. That's a great blessing. It's been a real joy to me and one of the smart things I did in my life…”
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| Elizabeth, Kenneth, Linda, Jim July 1989 |
Kenneth also frequently reminded his family of the love he had for his wife, Elizabeth, and her influence in helping him join the church. Had it not been for his previous two great sorrows--being dropped from pilot training and experiencing a divorce due to an unfaithful spouse--one can only speculate how Kenneth’s life would have turned out without Elizabeth. Kenneth remarked as follows:
“I've come to the conclusion this was, next to marrying my wife, this [joining the church] was the wisest decision I ever made.”
“After five children and approximately 13 years of marriage to my wife Beth, I joined the church. Probably the wisest move I ever made [...].”
“…I've always had a real testimony of God the Father, Jesus Christ His Son, and I'm very grateful for the many things that the church has helped me on, particularly in the rearing of my children.”
“…Probably my most spiritual [experience] of all was when my wife and I were sealed in the Los Angeles temple. […] I know that joining the church was not only good for me but made us more united as a family.”
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| Frye Family Back row (left to right): Ronald, Kenneth Jr., Kenneth Sr., Michael Front row (left to right): Cheryl, Elizabeth, Linda |
“Safe Deposit Box”
Kenneth LeRoy Frye passed away on August 12, 1998, nearly 86 years old, and only about three years after some of the treasured audio interviews were recorded by his daughter, Linda. At his funeral, his daughter Cheryl spoke of a small detail about his life not widely known among the family, but emphasized the intent of his heart and how he really felt about the church’s standards and teachings. Cheryl explained as follows:
“Dad had a safe deposit box at the bank. And I said, you know dad, we’ve got a couple of safes at home that are fireproof. If you want to, save yourself a little extra funds and you could just use our safe deposit box. Which he did… he had his insurance policies, and title to the car, and different things, and his retirement and what not. And I categorized the things that were in this little folder that I put into our fire-proof safe at home. One of the things that dad placed in our safe at home was this proclamation [The Family: A Proclamation to the World]. And I don’t know about you, but I think if you read the content of this, I think that says something very dear and very special about dad.”
“Total Opposite of 40 Years Ago”
So, what changed for Kenneth LeRoy Frye Sr. before passing away? How could he, in the words of a granddaughter, have an opinion “the total opposite of 40 years ago?”
Perhaps it can be boiled down to eyesight, either literal or figurative.
While Kenneth’s eyes may have originally been focused on becoming a Navy pilot, poor vision allowed him to live in order to see it all.
While an ex-wife’s eyes may have wandered to other men and caused a divorce, it eventually brought into Kenneth’s view a Latter-day Saint woman, Elizabeth, “more worthy of his affections” and who also was a major positive influence.
While Kenneth saw The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in a negative light for decades, it was nothing compared to the brightness of observing Primary children and their teachers for but a few years.
While his wife Elizabeth’s eyesight may have “darkened” because of blackouts during epileptic episodes, Kenneth’s eyes became enlightened to the realization of God’s power through a priesthood blessing by young missionaries.
While major financial burdens may have tempted Kenneth to look toward money as a source of relief, it was actually his eyes of faith looking toward God and His promises which provided the things that really mattered--whether for this life or in preparation for the next.
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Written and adapted August 11, 2022 by Thomas S. Hartley, grandson to Kenneth LeRoy Frye Sr. Reviewed and approved by Linda Frye Hartley and Michael Frye, children to Kenneth LeRoy Frye Sr.
Primary Sources:
Autobiography of Kenneth LeRoy Frye Sr. Typed by Linda Frye Hartley (daughter) on June 12, 1975.
Oral History of Kenneth LeRoy Frye Sr., Discs 1-5. Oral interviews were recorded between August 11, 1994 and June 4, 1995 and then later transcribed in July 2022.
Video Recording of the Funeral of Kenneth LeRoy Frye Sr. – August 22, 1998.
The autobiography, audio recordings and transcripts are available for free at FamilySearch.org under Kenneth LeRoy Frye’s memories:
https://www.familysearch.org/tree/person/memories/KWCD-W4X
Other Sources or References:
Various telephone conversations, email exchanges, and otherwise between Thomas S. Hartley, grandson, and Linda Frye Hartley and Michael Frye, children, to Kenneth LeRoy Frye Sr.
Weather Underground. San Leandro/Oakland International Airport Station. Includes temperature averages/highs/lows, wind speeds, etc.
Daily https://www.wunderground.com/history/daily/us/ca/oakland/KOAK/date/1967-12-14
Weekly: https://www.wunderground.com/history/weekly/us/ca/oakland/KOAK/date/1967-12-15
Monthly: https://www.wunderground.com/history/monthly/us/ca/oakland/KOAK/date/1967-12
Federal Reserve. Credit Cards: Use and Consumer Attitudes, 1970–2000, Thomas A. Durkin. https://www.federalreserve.gov/pubs/bulletin/2000/0900lead.pdf
Notes:
Kenneth mentioned in his autobiography the car’s transmission went out, but stated in a recorded audio interview the car’s engine needed to be rebuilt. Two children, Michael and Ronald, indicate they are certain it was the car’s engine since the 1961 Buick special was when an aluminum block engine was introduced.
Kenneth documented his marriage to Dannie as September 1934. The actual marriage certificate states the marriage took place in January 1934. The reason for the discrepancy is unknown, perhaps a transcription error or other mistake in the autobiography.