My Mother Linda Hartley - Miscarriage and Prophetic Dreams

Angela Hartley, June 20,1988

My mother, Linda Hartley, wrote a letter to a niece over five years ago about her experience of having a miscarriage in 1986. It was a very sad time for her then. My mother's experience with a miscarriage has helped humble me, but it has also strengthened my faith in the wisdom and timing of God. My father, Jim Hartley, adapted the letter and wrote the following story below: 

Linda F. Hartley: Miscarriage and Prophetic Dreams—The Lord Knows What He Is Doing

I miscarried two years before I gave birth to my daughter, Angela. That miscarriage was one of the most devastating experiences of my life! In contrast, Angela’s birth was truly a tender mercy from heaven…and the fulfillment of two prophetic dreams.

In 1986, we were a family of seven: Jason (12), Taylor (8), Andrea (6), Brent (5), Tom (2), my husband, Jim, and I. When my daughter, Andrea, was born, I knew I wanted to have another girl so she would have a sister. Not long after that, I had a dream about a little girl. She and I were at a neighbor’s house. She was perhaps five years old, maybe older, and had long hair. She was running from the neighbor's yard to our home. Even though I only saw her from the back, I knew she was ours. Later, when I became pregnant, I was excited with the anticipation of having another girl. It turned out to be our son, Brent. I was happy to have another child, but truthfully, I was deeply disappointed that he wasn’t the little girl of my dream. My husband, Jim, joked, "When Linda dreams of a girl, we'll get a boy!"

After Brent was born, I had another dream. I saw a beautiful little baby girl dressed in a long, white blessing gown. She was propped up on a barstool and smiling. When I woke up, I eagerly told Jim of my dream. He said, "That means we'll have another boy." Sure enough, three years after Brent’s birth, our son, Tom, was born. So, I decided that those dreams of a daughter were probably just crazy, wishful thinking on my part.

After Tom’s birth, I assumed that we were done having children. But, one time, while kneeling for family prayer, I had an impression that there was someone missing from our family, and, after the prayer, I said so to my family. About two years after Tom’s birth, I became pregnant. Could it be my dream girl?

Sometime in December 1985, I was having serious complications with the pregnancy. I did not want to lose this baby, so I asked Jim for a priesthood blessing. During the blessing, Jim paused for quite some time and then proceeded to promise me that I would be fine.

I was devastated on January 4, 1986 when I miscarried. On that day, I went into painful labor for about an hour. I began bleeding and hurried into the bathroom. Before I could sit down, I heard a little thump. The little precious being was on the floor, laying on its back, looking so peaceful. I went into shock and said, "The baby's cold—I need to get a blanket." Jim hurried in to find me in a daze and babbling. I was in such a deep state of shock that Jim needed to gently shake me and softly, but bluntly say, "Linda, the baby is dead." Jim reverently collected and wrapped the little fetus while I cleaned myself up and dressed. We then drove to the hospital. I was numb with shock and pain, and I cried uncontrollably. The hospital nurses told us they couldn't tell why I miscarried or the gender of the baby because it was only about 12 weeks old. I was devastated that I had lost the baby. Even though it wasn’t logical, emotionally I felt like a complete failure as a woman. It was a day of total sadness.

I grieved just like any person would grieve over a lost loved one, and my grief went on for over a year. I remember many nights when, after my husband was asleep, I would go quietly into the living room and pour out my soul to the Lord. One night in particular, my prayer was unusually long and enormously gut-wrenching for me. I pleaded with every ounce of my being that God would please send his tender mercies and give me comfort. I hoped with all my heart that I wasn’t yet done with childbearing, and that we could have one more child. I told God my dreams of a little girl, and begged him that he would send us a daughter.

During those dark days, Jim revealed to me that he knew I would miscarry. When he gave me a priesthood blessing the previous December, the Spirit of God had told him that I would lose the baby, but he was forbidden to tell me because of how terribly upsetting it would be to me. That was why there was a long pause during his blessing. It was extremely difficult for him, knowing what he did and he couldn’t tell me. But, when he did, I knew that God loved me and I felt comfort about the miscarriage. Even so, my grief didn’t go away.

Just a few weeks after my soul-wrenching prayer, I was delighted to learn that I was pregnant. (I had given most of my baby things away prior to that prayer—probably not a great act of faith on my part!) Would this be my dream daughter?

In those days, there was no way to fully determine the gender of the baby prior to birth. I became concerned when all the signs of my pregnancy pointed to another boy. Even the doctor and nurses who gave me prenatal care thought it would be a boy. Consequently, Jim and I tentatively decided on a name for the baby, Kevin Benjamin Hartley. When I went in for my delivery, I was still sad and a bit depressed—more Cub Scouts, more rain gutter regattas, and more pinewood derbies! Arrrg! When the baby was delivered, we were all completely surprised! To my sudden joy and absolute elation, out came my little dream girl!

We named her Angela because it was as if God had sent us a little angel. Interestingly, the name, Angela, means "messenger of gods." It’s a beautiful name, isn't it? I prayed her here, and we tell Angela this story many times so she knows she was wanted and dearly loved.

In hindsight, the Lord’s blessing to me through Jim came true. I was fine—in the Lord's time and in the Lord's way. Angela came during a challenging time in our family. Our sweet little angel softened the strained atmosphere and comforted us when we really needed it!

What did I learn from those experiences? The Lord knows what He's doing. The Lord's timing taught me that what the prophet Isaiah said is true: "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8). I was also reminded, "Be still, and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10).

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Adapted by James E. Hartley from a letter written by his wife, Linda F. Hartley. The letter was written to a niece who had miscarried. The letter was dated April 29, 2012. Linda also reviewed this adaption.

My Mother Linda Hartley - Her Deseret Industries Mission

My mother, Linda Hartley, gave a talk about her experience of being a service / welfare missionary at Deseret Industries quite some years ago. To me, this is a good reminder of the blessings of church callings and giving service to others. Below are my mother's words:

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Linda with her students

Around December of 1995, our bishop (who was also my husband) called me to be a part-time service/welfare missionary at Deseret Industries in Murray, Utah. I taught English as a second language to over 20 foreigners from January 22, 1996 to January 23, 1997.

Deseret Industries ("D.I.") is a church owned thrift store. A newly constructed sign now reads, "Thrift Store and Training Center." The training center part of the sign was a recent addition. It helps people understand the real purpose of this great program of the church.   

What is so incredible about this program is that it works! It works because it is an inspired program of the Lord. By donating second hand clothing and other items to this store, it gives employees of D.I. needed jobs and lifetime skills. When the public supports this store by buying its products, they are helping the employees earn their wage, and in turn, blessing the needy.

Not everything at D.I. is second hand. Items such as furniture, tables, and mattresses are made there. Much of the upholstery material is donated by other companies and the material is of very high quality. Even the president of our church bought a mattress set through Deseret Industries.

Beautiful baby quilts and larger quilts are made by volunteers in the Homecraft department. The material they use is donated by people such as you and me. Then, these quilts are made available at no cost to others in need by being distributed through the church's other welfare arm, the "bishop's storehouse." The volunteers in the Homecraft department are called, like I was, to serve as a volunteer for at least one year. Being a D.I. service/welfare missionary is one of the best church callings to have. There is a very special feeling when we are serving others.

Linda with some other students

Sometimes the needy are those whose only barrier is language. And, not everyone employed at D.I. is physically or mentally handicapped. There are those who come to this country seeking a better life and need basic, survival English to thrive here.

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I would be teaching English as a second language. Many people asked me if I had a lot of experience teaching English, or if I had knowledge in foreign languages. I laughed and said, "Not at all! I haven’t used my Spanish since I was 15 years old." That two year Spanish course in junior high school was now pretty rusty, but it helped at times.  

I wondered many times why the bishop had asked me to be a service missionary. But then I remembered my patriarchal blessing which reminded me that I would be called to positions of authority to help those less fortunate than myself. I often wondered what that meant. And that phrase from my blessing kept echoing in my mind as I served as a service/welfare missionary to teach English.

I first taught about four classes a week for the first four months of my mission. Thereafter, I taught two classes per week. Each class met twice a week for an hour. Our classes were small, with about five people per class attending. We would meet upstairs in the classroom area of the D.I. building.

There are about 6 volunteer teachers and over 50 employees taking classes. The students are all given an oral English test. Then, after assessing their ability, they are assigned to a certain level. I taught two levels of English--both basic levels, but one higher than another. We were never given a lot of information about these people. Sometimes it would be weeks until I discovered if someone was illiterate in their own language.

It was an honor to teach English at D.I. The people I worked with have become my dearest and sweetest friends whom I dearly love. The most special class was a class with four Spanish-speaking ladies who shook my hand, hugged and kissed me every time they entered and left class. It was, "Thank you, Professora, Linda!" They were so grateful! English was very difficult for them, with some of the ladies in their 60's and 70's trying to tackle it. As teachers, we tried to teach them simple phrases or questions.

Linda with her students again

My most challenging class was the class with two Bosnian women, a Pakistani woman, a Russian woman and a Mexican man. The Bosnians and Spanish speakers have a very similar alphabet as we do, but the Russian and Pakistani do not. It was a challenge for the Russian and Pakistani to read or write English, but they were so willing and hard-working.  

The Spirit of the Lord prompted me many times to know WHAT to teach or how to teach. For example, I felt very impressed to teach phonic skills to the Bosnians and Spanish students. At the time, my daughter Angela was in 2nd grade, and her 2nd grade teacher had a phonics sheet. There were about 50 phonograms--no wonder English is so difficult.  

This calling came to me at a very critical time in my life. It was a healing balm during a pretty rugged time. The Lord knew I would be going through a personally challenging situation, so He offered me a wonderful opportunity to serve those less fortunate than myself. My life was blessed because of it, as I hope their lives were a bit richer and fuller. I am grateful for an inspired bishop.

Accept your church callings faithfully even though you might have some reservations about them. The blessings of our calling make a difference not only in our life, but in the lives of others. It buoyed my spirits and convinced me more than ever that service to others is vital.

The scripture in Doctrine & Convenants 11:13, "Verily, verily, I say unto you, I will impart unto you of my Spirit, which shall enlighten your mind, which shall fill your soul with joy," is true. I also love the scripture in Doctrine & Covenants 6:36, "Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not."

*** (End of Linda's Words)

Below is also a great and brief video produced by Deseret Industries about some of the work and service it provides to others. I had no idea Deseret Industries does as much as it does. What a great organization! More videos can also be found here.

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Adapted from a talk Linda F. Hartley gave some time after her Deseret Industries mission ended. Additionally, as of August 2017, the D.I. may no longer be offering all the same services or trainings as described in her address. 

My Uncle Rich Hartley - Determined to Run

This is an inspiring family story about my uncle, Richard M Hartley, written by his brother (my dad) Jim Hartley. It has helped strengthen my resolve to react to adversity with faith and determination. Below are my father's words:

Rich Hartley: Determined to Run

Although he earned it decades ago, Richard M Hartley still has his red letterman sweater from high school. But for him, it’s not just a reminder of glory days long ago; it carries a much deeper meaning.

The sweater is woven in the school’s colors, red and black. His name is embroidered on it. Dominating the sweater is a large block “A” for Arroyo High School in San Lorenzo, California. Pinned to the top of the letter is the winged foot of Mercury representing cross country and track, the two sports in which he lettered. The three stripes on the left sleeve announce his three years as a varsity runner. Above the stripes are two stars: the yellow star for being on the 1967 team that won the league’s track championship, and the black star for being captain of the cross-country team. Overlapping the three stripes are six medals for top individual honors at various track and cross-country events. The “67” below the right pocket represents the year he graduated.

Very few athletes at Arroyo High School could match the accomplishments celebrated on Rich’s letterman sweater. And, very few knew the near-tragic story that originally kindled Rich’s strength and determination.

In a way, you can credit Rich’s athletic success to two things: (1) his neighbor, Mrs. Lunders, who nearly ran over him with her car, and (2) the Boy Scouts.

One Saturday morning in May 1964, 15-year-old Richard was riding his bicycle northbound on Via Alamitos, barely a half-a-block from his home. At the same time, Mrs. Lunders was driving eastbound on Via Coralla. She stopped at its intersection with Via Alamitos. Not seeing Rich because of the morning sun, she accelerated into her right turn just as Rich rode in front of her. The next thing she knew, Richard and his bicycle were pinned under her front bumper. The bicycle’s left pedal was bent into the shape of a scoop, which had gouged out a one-inch chunk of tissue above Rich’s left heel. It broke his ankle and came within millimeters of severing his Achilles tendon. Rich laid in the street bleeding and in pain. Mrs. Lunders became hysterical.

Neighbors quickly gathered at the accident scene. Rich’s mother was summoned. She drove him home, bound his injury as best she could, and rushed him to their family doctor. Rich eventually left the doctor’s office with his left leg and foot cleaned up, bones set, and immobilized. Soon thereafter, his leg, ankle, and foot were wrapped in a thick plaster cast with a special rubber walking pad on the bottom. He was also issued a crutch and a wheelchair. 

Ah, the wheelchair! Not one to miss an opportunity, Rich basked in sympathy and attention at school by having friends sign the cast on his elevated leg, and by persuading cute girls to push him in his wheelchair to his various classes during the final few weeks of school.

Summer came. The cast was soon removed, and Rich realized how weak his left leg was. That was especially discouraging because Rich had his mind set on achieving Boy Scout’s highest rank of Eagle. One of the rank’s many prerequisites was earning a merit badge called “Personal Fitness.” Among other things, the merit badge required a scout to run a mile each day during a one-month period, and document improvement in his performance. Considering how the accident had weakened his left leg, earning the Personal Fitness merit badge would be a huge challenge.

But Rich was determined to run. By the end of July, his leg was strong enough to begin. After a month, Rich earned the merit badge, and both of his legs were stronger than they had ever been.

In September, when Rich began his sophomore year, you could say that he hit the ground running. A few days into the new school year, his physical education teacher noticed how Rich flew past his schoolmates during distance runs and finished light years ahead of them. That teacher happened to be Mr. Ryan, the school’s cross-country coach, and he was eager to make Rich his newest recruit.

Reluctantly, Rich agreed to shift his PE class to the last period of the school day so that he could work out with the school’s top athletes under Coach Ryan. He started out competing at the junior varsity level. At the end of his first cross-country season, the Hayward Area Athletic League held a league-wide cross-country final competition for both varsity and junior varsity runners. Because Rich had previously competed well against the other eight schools during the year, he qualified for the league’s finals. Before the meet, Coach Ryan announced to his runners that those who had the top 10 best times for Arroyo would receive varsity letters. Rich clocked a time that tied him for 10^th place for the school—something unexpected of a sophomore. That performance qualified him for the varsity team and, therefore, his block letter.

During his junior and senior years, Rich became one of the school’s top distance runners. In addition to cross-country, Rich was recruited by the track coach to run the half-mile—880 yards. [Today that event is known as the 800 meters.] Subsequently, in his junior year, Rich also lettered in track. In his senior year, he was chosen by the cross-country team as its captain. He also set a school track record for the half-mile that was unbeaten for more than 10 years.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, second counselor in the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, made this profound observation: “It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life’s story will develop.”

To Rich’s credit, his story developed well, when it could have easily turned out poorly. There he was at age 15, lying in the street, broken and bleeding from an automobile/bicycle accident. He was disabled for a number of weeks. Little did he know at the time that his determination to overcome that near-tragic adversity would not only help him become an Eagle Scout, but it opened the door to becoming a future star athlete at Arroyo High School.

So, today, decades later, when Richard sees the block letter “A” on his red letterman sweater, he knows that the “A” not only represents his past accomplishments, it is also a stark reminder to him of the fragile relationship between adversity and attitude.

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President Uchtdorf quote from: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2010/04/your-happily-ever-after?lang=eng

NOTE: In 1967, the Hayward Area Athletic League consisted of the following 9 high schools: Arroyo HS (San Lorenzo), San Lorenzo HS (San Lorenzo), Marina HS (San Leandro), Castro Valley HS (Castro Valley), Canyon HS (Castro Valley), Hayward HS (Hayward), Sunset HS (Hayward), Mt. Eden HS (Hayward), and Tennyson HS (Hayward)

Written by James E. Hartley (Richard’s brother), based on an interview with Richard

August 1, 2017